Free To Be Me

God is Awesome!

2010-04-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." -- 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

I'm thankful for a God of ALL COMFORT!!!

**Please join me in praying for our Montana Mission Trip. I, along with many others from FBC Lavaca will be traveling to Montana July 17-25. I'm thankful for this amazing opportunity and blessings that will be received!! Also, pray for my friends going to Brazil, & New Mexico this summer.

When It Rains It Pours, then turns into a blessing...

2010-04-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

The last few months professional has been really rough on me physically and emotionally. After working so hard for 4.5 years and earning a degree and you still do not have a job, it is very hard and the devil gets to you by making you feel like a failure. That has been a problem that I have struggled with for the past few months. I know God has a plan, but sometimes its just hard. I wish that the people around me knew just how hard it is seeing friends and people you know get jobs and you don't. The past week it seemed it poured when it rained. I don't know why it happens this way but someway it always ends in a blessing of some kind. I was really hoping to get a long term sub job the last few weeks of school, but it didn't end up that way. I found that this week, and then other things happened on top of that so it just was a very stressful and emotional week. I heard from a friend that Fort Smith was sending out their letters for Round Robin interview on Thursday... soo of course when I heard about this I started stressing about that letter. After cleaning my bathroom this morning, I hung out with Davin all day we ran around and ran errands. Much to my surprise when I came home to get ready to go out there was the letter sitting on the table. I grabbed it and took off while my parents were yelling back to me aren't you going to open that with us, when I responded "no, I'm afraid of what it says." As I tore open the letter, thoughts ran through my mind "is this what I want, will be a negative response" as I read the letter it explained how they had reviewed my file and application and I would have an interview with three principals from FS. It told me the name of them and and location of my interview as well and time and date. As I saw the principals a smile came across my face when I saw it was the principal from Woods, where I worked the after school program a few years ago, and my interview will take place here. After this interview as jobs come available we will go through more interviews. Soo here starts the new prayers... for wise answers and for His guidance.

Davin and I have been together for almost 7 months! He is the sweetest, most respectful guy ever. He has helped me so much with the job situation trying to calm me down best he can. Can't wait for the future!

I will be going to Montana in July on my first mission trip and I'm soo very excited! Can't wait for this amazing experience to tell everyone about it!

It is Easter weekend, I'm soo thankful for Jesus giving His life for my sins and in three days He arose and is still alive! :) Praise the Lord!

The Greatest Woman I Ever Knew...

2010-02-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

96 years ago today God blessed this world with the most amazing woman ever. However, she and I only got to spend 15 years together, they were the best 15 years ever. Words cannot describe the love I had for this woman. She had six children, nineteen grandchildren and 21 great-children. Even though I was a great grandchild, it didn't matter she was my mawmaw, and I was her dolly. She lived 86 years on this earth, blessing her family and the people around her. I wish I could just give everyone a glimpse of her, but she was far to great to do that.

While my parents and grandparents worked I would stay with her during the summer... during this time we not only bonded as grandparents and their grandchildren do but also as best friends. Some people may look at me funny when I tell them stories of her and tell them all she was my best friend. She taught me so many things, and by third grade she had taught me every state and its capital. I owe so much to her. I can remember Christmas Eves and Christmas Days at her house all cramped in that small house, but none of that matter to any of us. There were many evenings we would sit in her living room window waiting on my uncle, aunt, and cousins to arrive from Kansas City. She would just look at me and smile and say "Now Dolly, if we keep looking out this window it's going to take them forever to get here." Another memory I have is that she had to use a walking cane to get around, I would use it as a microphone and sing Victory In Jesus, and He Walked on Water and many more but those were her favorites.

She got sick in early 2000, and went down hill from there. The next year was really rough, however this got me through each day. Out of all her children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren she knew me the longest, my grandma and aunts would tell me how she knew it was almost 4pm and she would just wait for that bus to stop at that stop sign, and she would say dolly will be down soon. She knew me as soon as I walked up on the porch and she would have a smile on her face. Gosh how I miss that smile of hers, it would take all your cares away. By far May 6th and 9th was two of the hardest days of my life, now I hated every minute of college and the stress it caused and the not getting a job after I graduated, but nothing compares to those days. It was a Sunday afternoon, May 6th when we took her to the hospital. She had always wanted my dad's brother to preach her funeral, she was not doing well at all and my family wanted us to go talk to him. While I was gone she past away, when I arrived back at the ER that day, my cousin was on the phone and looked at my dad and said "she's gone." I remember those words so plain. All I remember is sprinting across that hospital parking lot, family trying to stop me to comfort me and all I wanted was my mawmaw. I cried more in those three plus days than I ever have. Her funeral was beautiful, however I lost it completely it was my maw-maw she's supposed to see me graduate and get married and all those things. I find myself from time to time just wanting to go sit where her house used to stand and cry and think of the old days, but I really don't want all my family to bug me so I just go to the cementary and talk to her and my grandpa. Don't get me wrong at all I have the most wonderful parents and grandparents, but mawmaw and I had a bond very few people share!

WOW, Its been a really rough two weeks for me and then its my mawmaw's birthday.

Sometimes I wonder...

2010-02-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

This week has been one physically and mentally exhausting weeks dealing with pain and other symptoms of what the ER dr said nothing was wrong... I hate I mean hate going to the dr and Sunday morning I woke up to this awful pain in my lower abdomin. I thought once I got up and around it would go away, not so much once I started moving the worse it got. So we loaded up and headed to Promed, where I walked in doubled over, and could not sit without doubled over. My dad thought that they wouldn't do much at promed so we took the short journey to the ER... There I walked in and in seconds they had me registered and I was in an exam room in less than 2o minutes and around here thats remarkable. Once I got back there they took some blood to run tests, and took the needle out. The pain was constant and severe so they were going to give me an IV where it took 3 nurses, 6 sticks and the CT tech 3 sticks to get it in my arm...needless to say I think I'm good on needles for a while. After tests were ran they ruled out kidney stones and said that they could see my appendix on the CT and said it was fine. They also ruled out a cyst on my ovary and sent me home with pain medication. I got home and took a pain pill where I sat on the couch for a few hours still in so much pain, I slept a totally of 2 hours that night bc I couldn't not lay down because of the pain. With this pain my appetite left and today was the first day I ate a meal since Saturday night... I didn't want the meal but Davin told me I had to eat. Anyways, the pain lasted through most of the day on Monday. That afternoon it eased enough to take a short nap. The past few days the pain in my abdomin has left and it has moved to my lower back. Today, the lower right side began to hurt again more of a dull and annoying pain, and burning feeling all the way across my abdomin. I have NO idea what it could be, with much research online the symptoms I have or had are leading more to appendicitis or ovarian cyst. I just would like to know. Its funny we go to drs to find out what's wrong with us, but when we walk in they want to know what's wrong, heck if I could only prescribe medication I wouldnt' need a dr.

On a brighter note, I'm adding a few pictures from the past few weeks. Davin and me and fun times in the snow and pictures from the Martina McBride Concert!

Davin, me and his niece Abby

Davin and me with his family minus his bro-n-law and nephew...they were on the 4-wheeler

Martina, we had AMAZING seats!

I'm so very blessed

2009-12-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

As I signed on to my blog tonight, I realized that I have not updated in quite sometime. Life has been crazy busy, but almost all of it in a GREAT way. A lot has changed since the last time I updated. I have the greatest guy ever in my life(minus dad and grandpa;)). He makes me smile beyond words. His birthday will begin in just a few more minutes at midnight! I can't wait to share his special day with him and his family tomorrow night!

This week is my last week with my fourth grade group, although there were some extremely tough days with them, I know deep down they did love me. I have to say that my job has to be one of the most stressful ones out there, but oh what a blessing each day to hear how much you mean to them. I really enjoyed reading the The Best Christmas Pagaent Ever last week and then following it up with the play Friday afternoon. It is such a good book. The book is about a group of kids The Herdmans and they are tough and are known for a very bad reputation when one day Charlie opened his mouth to Leroy and they came to church and took over the main parts in the Christmas program. Everyone was confused, and thought that this year it would be the WORST pagaent ever. However, in the end it turned out better than anyone imagined, the Herdman's understood the true many of Christmas as well as that it is better to give than receive. The smallest Herdman was the Angel of the Lord and she was very enthusastic in her speaking part "Unto you a child is born!" It just shows you how the Lord wants us to be excited and enthusastic about sharing the Good News about Him! I cried when I ended the book with my students and I teared up at the play.

This week begins an extremely chaotic several days, tomorrow is Davin's birthday :), Wednesday is nursery and choir, Friday is Courtney and Josh's rehearsal dinner, Saturday is their wedding, Sunday is my cousins Christmas program in keota if I can make it, Monday- babysit the boys, Monday night dinner with the girls Kristen, Katie, Angela and Dawn and I can't wait. Also, i'll keep the boys Tuesday as well and we will do our Christmas that afternoon. I just can't believe how quick the holidays came up on us, not complaining at all. I'm also very glad to mention that Kristen will be having a precious baby boy in May, I'm sooo excited and Dawn will be having a precious baby girl in April.

I had pictures made for my parents, and grandparents for Christmas which is a total surprise! I'll leave you with one or two of my favorites... the first one so happens to be Davin's favorite :D

Emotional Roller Coaster

2009-09-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've last updated my blog.
I just finished my first long-term sub job this past Friday... I'm a little emotional, I love those kids more than they'll ever know! It's amazing how you think your having a bad day, but just a simple fact from one of your students or even a parent just makes you smile and say wow, how blessed am I to have this job! I knew leaving them would be hard Friday, but the more I think about it the more emotional I get. I'm happy because of all the "I'm going to miss you, will you come to see us, you are like my teacher and I don't want you to leave," and much more. Then you throw in sad, bc you see the difference you made and that you are having to leave them! My prayer is that they know I love them and believe them 200%.

In our Sunday School, we were asked, "if Jesus was standing by you and you were introducing Him to your friends, how would you introduce Him?" We all took a while to respond, because He is soo much and one word just can't describe Him. In the lesson it said that Jesus is unique, I love that...soo "What makes our Jesus unique?"

I leave you with the chorus of my favorite song I'd Need A Savior by Among the Thirsty... "Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus. You’re the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend. You’re what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through All the days of loss, to the cross you knew I’d need a Savior!!"

Don't Let Your Circumstances Determine Your Attitude and Contentment...

2009-07-10T02:56:00.000-07:00

Sunday Morning in church our pastor stated this statement, the next day I was reading a book Twentysomething Girl and the statement was there again... it was like the Lord was putting in my face once again to tell me something... "Don't let you circumstances determine you attitude and contentment!" The more I ponder this statement it is totally what I need what now. I'm still waiting patiently for a teaching job to begin my career! I have to think of that statement in this place in my life, the circumstances are not really what I figured they would be this time in July before schools starts in August, however God has a plan, His plan is far better than my mapped out plan, and I should be thankful for the many wonderful blessings in my life right now!

I read the book Twentysomething Girl prior to graduating from College in December, however re-reading it now, everything in the book is making more sense and the situations that I am in are becoming more evident... God is using this time to bring me closer to Him, and allow me to see that everything will be alright, but on His time. Which is ever so hard with friends, who are getting the things that you want... It's alright because God makes each of special in our own way and knows exactly what we need! Also, I need to take this time to pray specifically for the job and people I will work with when I do get that job... He knows what I want and desire, but if I don't ask Him for it, how do I expect to get an answered or unanswered prayer.

I hope everyone has a Terrific Tuesday...

Are we there yet!?

2009-07-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

"Are we there yet!?" A common phrase said among children when going somewhere, it is now 2:30 and I have been in the car since 4am and I'm asking are we there yet!l lol... We decided to take the scenic route and go south to biolxi and Gulfport and come back up to mobile.... Ummm think we won't do that again! We are almost to Mobile,AL and about an hour or so away from gulf shores... I think I'll go for a 4 mile walk once I get there! While on the road today, I've yet to sleep at all and I'm in desperate need of my Sunday afternoon nap! I've text most of the day, imagine that! However pretty sure we have planned a trip for next summer for the same time! I've taken random pictures on my phone while going through cities and towns. My favorite one so far is the "welcome to Tennessee!" sign! Hahhaha we decided to go to Memphis and down because it is all interstate and daddy can drive oh we'll say 70ish! Lol

Sooo we got here around 4... Yay now we are sitting on the balcony listening to te waves and music!! Yay for tomorrow!

Packed and Ready!

2009-07-04T21:08:00.000-07:00

I leave for Gulf Shores in about 4hours... yee haw! I'm not a bit sleepy, I still feel like I am a little kid anticipating something big like my birthday or Christmas! hahaha :D Maybe that is why I am a teacher and work with children daily! haha ;)
It has felt like July 5 was forever away since I found out I was going to the beach, but now it is here, followed closely by a wonderful friend's wedding and many other anticipated things. I am still searching for a job, I sent more applications out last week, so I am hoping that something will happen soon! I know God has an amazing plan, so I'm praying for more patience and not focus on my timing but God's timing because His is the BEST!! This trip should really allow me to relax and get my mind off things, that is what I'm praying for! :)

Have a wonderful Sunday! Remember God is GOOD ALL THE TIME!